I saw this quote the other day, and it stopped me in my tracks. Memories of past decisions made from a place of fear washed through me and caught in my throat. It was painful. Honestly, even though I’ve done a lot of really hard things, I’ve made many decisions to do or not do because I was afraid.
It’s not the first time I’ve realized that of course. Understanding why I’ve done some of the things I’ve done, and making different choices has been a catalyst for my work as a coach who helps women rediscover who they are aside from being wives and mothers. The part that shocked me, was that it became crystal clear that I was still allowing fear to paralyze me in one particular area of my life: my writing.
My ability to express myself and convey ideas through words is the one thing I’ve always been relatively confident about. I’ve contributed a dozen or so articles to print and online publications, which is impressive considering I didn’t start writing professionally (getting paid) until I was 39, and have done it in fits and starts. But my dream has always been to write a book. To tell my own stories. To bare my soul.
And I’ve started…sort of. I’ve written some pieces that could easily be molded into chapters of a memoir; I’ve outlined another book idea that delves into the process I use with my 1:1 clients to help them uncover their passions and find more joy. But every time I sit down at my desk to work on either of these projects, I freeze. I can’t form a complete thought. So, I close the files on my computer, and put those projects out of my mind for weeks or months at a time. I tell myself that I’ve got too many other things that need my attention right now–things that I now understand, I’ve created to distract me from this work. It’s like I mentioned a few weeks ago, right? Always a new level of mastery to be had in life.
The fears haven’t stopped showing up. The having the fear stop me in my tracks hasn’t taken a hiatus. I’ve just gotten better at detecting my own bullshit, and understanding that if I truly want a crack at my dreams, I have to stop letting myself take the easy way out.
P. S. If you’re desperate to reconnect with YOU, find your passion, and stop feeling like “just a mom” I invite you to apply for a free clarity session with me. As summer approaches, I’m limiting the number of 1:1 clients I work with, and am only taking on 2 new people.
CLICK HERE TO APPLY FOR A FREE CLARITY SESSION WITH ME.
You don’t need to have everything figured out in order to have this conversation. You just need to be willing to explore your next steps.